End of the TheDVDBabe Mailing List = Resumption of my Diary - thedvdbabe.bravejournal.com

Thanks to every one who expressed interest in this mailing list!

It's now over, because I'm in a position I can post to my diary again!

http://thedvdbabe.bravejournal.com/

Yay!

Amy

The DVDBabe Mailing List: Summer 2008

It has been a little while since I updated.  I actually forgot about the mailing list until someone reminded me.

Sorry.

So, obviously I'm still alive.  I have run into some health concerns, but nothing like a near death experience.

Unfortunately, the concerns are enough that I'm now taking steps to lose weight.  I'm hardly wasting away though, I've lost 15 pounds since the spring, bringing me to 535 pounds.

For those not interested in math, that does mean that I managed to reach 550 pounds!

People have been asking if I feel the weight loss much, and I've been saying, honestly, that I'm actually feeling bigger now than I did at 550 pounds.  I know it sounds weird, but it makes sense.  One of the things I've been on is 'modified bed rest', which basically means I can go to work, if I'm at a desk job, and then come home and take it easy.  So I put in 4 day weeks, let people take care  of as much as possible at work, Thomas taking care of everything at home, and pretty much sat on my ass.  While I wasn't exactly an fitness dynamo before, I was getting far less exercise, so now I feel heavier, even though I'm lighter!

I've been taking different medicines, some have worked, some have not.  Some have had side effects, of which some have been quite unpleasant.  Now we've got things sorted out though, so I can focus on changing my diet and exercise routines.

I'm eating less, of course.  It's tough, especially with so much free time, to not just snack.  Luckily because I'm not really getting up, I was depending on food to come to me.  Much easier to eat less when someone else controls the food supply!  I'm finally exercising now.  Aquafit is about the only thing I can do right now, but I'm enjoying it.  It's a little embarrassing to be the youngest person in the class, but it feels fantastic being in the water.

As I was working with my doctor to adjust my medication we couldn't make our trip out to Ontario.  I was a little disappointed by this, but remembered how much trouble it was taking the plane before, it would be that much worse this time anyway, so just as well we stayed out west. 

Instead of going home, I spent a few days at a spa retreat and got myself pampered!  I don't know why I wasn't doing this.  I mean, I know why:  when I first got fat I was too embarrassed to go, and just sort of got in the habit of not going.  Now I wonder why I was so stupid!  It felt fantastic, it was very relaxing, and it was good for me!  I'll be going back as often as I can.  Maybe even more.

Perhaps the hardest part of this whole ordeal was working less.  I love my job.  Letting someone else do my work is about the worst thing I can think of!  I've got great people though, and they really know what they're doing.  I hate to think I can be replaced, but at least I know that the people who depend on my work getting done are well taken care of.  That's my number one job anyway.

I don't know if I'll keep up this email list.  I suppose if people want it, I will.  I can understand how many of you aren't too keen in hearing about me losing weight!

Amy

TheDVDBabe Mailing List - Spring 2008

Ideally I'd like these updates to come more than once a season, but I guess that if this is the best I can do, then it's the best I can do.

It's really been an up and down year on all fronts.  At work we've had problems to navigate, but we managed to work through them.  It was really tough at the time, there were several different, conflicting, ideas in play, and it really did become quite nasty.  Eventually my ideas prevailed, and so far it seems to be the right way to go, but at the time, there was a lot on my shoulders.

When you work and live with the man you love, stress at work carries over to home and vice versa.  Thomas didn't like the way I was running the business, I didn't like his ideas for running the business either.  There was some unpleasantness.  However, when things go well at work or at home, that carries over too.  So, with the unpleasantness behind us, things are working out very well now.

In fact, things are going better now than I ever remember!  Things have settled at work, we're doing well, and there's time to do what we need before the end of April.  Thomas is having luck with his end of the business too.  We've had some good luck, but I do think that Thomas knows how to 'make' the kind of luck we've been having, which is why we're in the position we are.

On the home front my weight became a bit of an issue.  In fact, it became a very big issue.  Thomas was getting tired of the sacrifices we make because of my weight.  It was tough on me, as I really do see my weight as part of who I am.  If you don't like my weight, you don't like me.  I can certainly seperate that out from casual acquaintances, but for Thomas to hate my fat really stung.

Luckily, when things turned around at work, Thomas and I found the time and goodwill to turn things around at home as well.  We've agreed to a sort of 'back to basics' approach to our relationship for now, which means that he'll be losing weight and I'll be gaining weight!

It's been absolutely incredible, I've gained 4 pounds in 2 weeks, and I can't remember the last time I gained so quickly!  The changes are subtle of course, on 548 pounds, 4 pounds make very little difference.  What I have noticed is the feeling of being full at this size is new and fantastic.  Even though my belly isn't as tremendous as I'd like, when I'm full now, it's providing some very fascinating sensations.

First, when I lay back with my stomach full, I can feel it almost enveloping me in a soft pressure.

When I am full, I can't really move.  I'm not sure if I'm not capable of moving, or simply have no desire to move.  It doesn't really matter, when Thomas tops me up with chocolate, I'm in bed, and I don't go anywhere until the next morning, when I'm ready to eat again.

Over the Easter weekend I probably ate more than I've ever eaten, what with chocolate being so readily available, and Thomas being so eager to see me eating it!
 

Amy

TheDVDBabe

Surprise!

Posting by email isn’t working very well at all.

Some posts come more than once, some not at all! I guess double posting is better than none, but then I need to go in, and change it. On top of that, the double posts seem to come hours later! It’s tough to check for that. Maybe I’m doing something wrong, or maybe Blogger is. I’m not keen on moving to a new service, but how long can I put up with this?

ANYWAY.

Thomas had a surprise for me last week. A big surprise! He’d arranged time off work for me so we could head up to the National Art Gallery in Ottawa. He loves going there, he’d never been with me, he figured this was the perfect time to do so. I wish he’d thought of this sooner, because I think we missed the perfect time.

His concern to get it done now is that he wasn’t sure I’d be up to walking around a museum for a few days in a few months. Truth is, after walking around a museum for a few days, I’m not up to it now! My feet, knees, hips and back are absolutely killing me now. I do wish we’d done this when I was thinner!

It was nice to see. Certainly without Thomas, I’d have just breezed through, if I’d gone at all (which I obviously hadn’t!). He pointed out things that… well… I still don’t get, but at least understand that there is something to get. I’m still not convinced it’s art, but, apparently you only need to convince other artists.

There were some surprising works in there, a graffitied Camaro was pretty cool. I wasn’t expecting that.

Besides going up to see the Gallery, we got to go up to see Char! She works at the Gallery, so she walked around with us for a bit when she could. She’s still living with some friends, so she never got to cook us up a good meal. Instead, she took us out to dinner at a couple different places around Ottawa. Nothing super fancy, but it was nice anyway, and great to see Char again!

Even though I saw her last weekend, it was mostly in passing, and at a party, and beside Ian. It’s tough to evaluate how someone looks in those conditions. Seeing her by herself, she’s looking much larger than I remember. I know she’s wearing a size up from the last time I really got to see her (Ian brought up my ‘skinny’ clothes for her to wear, after all).

Perhaps the fact that one of Char’s roommates is Ian’s polar opposite helped to size her up a little. Jamie’s a little shorter than me, and weighs maybe 90 pounds. She’s very fit, not a lot of fat on her at all. Char’s other roommate is actually the more interesting one. Shelley is a female body builder. From what Char’s said, I was expecting her to be super defined muscle. She’s not. She’s definitely muscular, but she’s got fat over the muscle, about a normal amount of fat. I guess that the defined ‘cut’ look is tougher for women to get, because women naturally have more fat than men. There’s more to it, but, I don’t really have time to write about wonder woman here.

It was good to see Char again. She’s definitely back to gaining, even if her extra weight wasn’t proof, her appetite was. We never really sat down to push ourselves like Ian and I do, but Friday night we went out and put back a lot of pub grub over the evening. Sunday morning we did a lot of damage to the buffet we went to.

I’m really glad I went to the gallery. Given how I feel now, I think it was worth it. In a few months, Thomas is right, I won’t be up to it at all.

Hopefully I’ll be getting better as the week goes along!

Oscar Party Night

It is fun hosting a party in your home.

It is not fun preparing your home for a party.

With a big screen TV come big screen obligations: hosting an Oscar Party this year! I’d hoped to get out of doing any hard work, but, I didn’t. Thomas and I spent half of Saturday rearranging furniture, making sure there were good ‘lanes’ and places for people to sit and places for food to go. There is so much crap arranged in our bedroom right now that there’s pretty much a path to the bed that I follow and then just roll onto the bed!

But, it was all worthwhile, I think. Everyone had a good time watching the red carpet, then had fun ignoring the actual proceedings. We had a game of Trivial Pursuit going, I’m not sure if it ever really finished, or if anyone stuck to a particular team, but everyone seemed to enjoy that too.

Always with work.

I’d love to write more, but it’s this, or nothing.

Something New

Last night I did something new: I actually went to watch Thomas play basketball! The gym he plays at actually has an area were spectators can go, and I wasn’t the only one. (I was the fattest one, of course, but that’s normal when I’m not hanging out with Ian). I was there with a couple other girlfriends of guys Thomas plays with. We chatted absently; mostly they were there because they like to go out for drinks afterwards.

I did go out with them, so I’m a bit wiped today. It was kind of cool though, it’s been a while I just hung out with some new friends, it was a lot like back when I was in school, going out for beer and wings and always ending up with a new friend or two. Everyone was friendly, no one seemed to care about my weight (I’ve noticed that I look for that now). It was fun, I think I might become a regular when Ian moves up to Ottawa. It’s not as good for the waistline, but there’s more to life than fat.

Speaking of fat, I got another pound of it this week. Actually my smallest gain in a little while, but that’s okay. I’m absolutely loving how I feel these days, while I’d love to have a bigger belly, I’m quite content with the one I’ve got.

Weigh in: 382 pounds

The Cell and the Daytona 500

Thomas was busy over the weekend, so Tommy came over to watch the big screen for a little bit. He’d seen the screen, of course, but hadn’t really been able to sit down and appreciate just what it means for the cinematic experience. We popped on ‘The Cell’, which is one of his favourite movies, and watched.

‘The Cell’ is one of those movies that really divides people. The director is unapologetic, he’s not telling a story any more than he has to. It shows, the story doesn’t make any sense, and one wonders why the producers even bothered forcing it upon him. It’s just an excuse to create a series of breathtaking visuals. The movie is exactly what it’s supposed to be, if you like that, then you like it. If you expect a movie to be more than a moving painting, you’re going to be disappointed.

Of course, looking at it as a way to show off my big screen, I’ve got a whole new appreciation for ‘The Cell’.

After the movie, Tommy took me out to the Chinese buffet. We were there for about an hour before I finally decided I was ‘full’. ‘Full’ of course meant we had ice cream back at my place.

Sunday was the Daytona 500. I’m not a huge fan of car racing. I enjoy driving my Civic, and appreciate all the work that went into it. But Stock Cars just don’t really do it for me. I don’t for a second believe that they’re out there racing Tauruses and Monte Carlos, so why bother pretending? It’s just insulting, and if I want to be insulted while watching TV, I’ll just pop on an infomercial where people talk about how awful it was being fat before taking whatever caffeine tablet they’re hocking a month before they get fat again.

But, as Ian pointed out, without hockey, it was a pretty good excuse to plunk down and eat. I took it. We had KFC at the beginning, pizza at the end, and chips chips chips in the middle. Formula One starts up soon. That’s a little more interesting than Stock Cars, they actually design their own cars, with their own engines and drive on real race courses, not some oval.

The only real problem with Formula One is that the races are on early in the morning. It’s tough to have pizza that early, and tough to sit back and munch pancakes. I’m sure that Thomas and I will work something out though!